My dominant personality type on the Enneagram is a Type 1. The moral person who wants to be good, have integrity, and be balanced.
Dominant Type 1’s are constantly in a mental battle with their inner critic over the things that they want to do vs what they SHOULD do.
This shows up pretty much any time the Type One has a decision to make. Write the book or clean the house? I want to write, but I SHOULD be cleaning. Follow your dream or do what everyone else wants you do to do?
It especially nags us when we make outward facing decisions that require others’ attention and participation.
When it came to having a Black Friday Sale, the Inner Critic got to me and said,
“You are such an opportunitist. This is going to come across as too sales-ey! You’ll come across as a common peddler, just like all these other folks.”
The work of the Dominant Type 1 is to recognize the voice of the inner critic and call out the incorrect-ness of its message.
When I have these paralyzing thoughts, I play a game I made up called FIND THE LIE.
It’s easy. You allow yourself to hear the message being said, and then you look at it as someone who is loved, fully supported, with everything he or she needs.
And you proceed to find the lie.
Then you speak, out loud, what the truth is.
I spoke to myself and said:
“That is a lie. You enjoy and respond to marketing and advertisements every day and your life is better for it. Some of the best experiences in your life came from seeing an ad, commercial or sponsored post about it.”
Then I said,
"The more hands you get this book into, the better. Offering a discount during this time is generous.”
"What if someone got this book as a gift and really did the work to understand and lovingly accept themselves?"
"What if they didn’t and missed an opportunity to transform their relationship with themselves and others?”
I won the battle with my inner critic this time.
What does your inner critic tell you? Scroll down for a list of the common words of each type's inner critic (derived from The Enneagram Institute), and my practice for finding the lie.
Type 1: You are only okay if you have attained complete integrity, make no mistakes, have everything organized and are perfect.
Type 2: You are only okay if you are unconditionally loved by others and feel their love.
Type 3: You are only okay if you have accomplished enough to feel successful, outstanding, and have all the admiration and attention you want.
Type 4: You are only okay if you have resolved all of your emotional issues and found your significance, and can freely express your emotions to everyone around you whenever you want.
Type 5: You are only okay if you feel completely competent and capable of dealing with the world, mastering and understanding everything you need to know in life
Type 6: You are only okay if you have enough support in your life to feel completely secure and stable, and have every area in your life handled.
Type 7: You are only okay if you are totally satisfied, happy and fulfilled and certain that you've found what you are supposed to be doing with your life.
Type 8: You are You are only okay if you are totally independent and do not have to relay on anyone for anything, when you are completely in control and your desires are never challenged by anyone.
Type 9: You are only okay if you are completely at peace, without conflict or problems, everyone is happy and nothing bothers you.
The Practice: FIND THE LIE
1) Read the inner-critic message of your type.
2) Which parts are not true?
3) Reflect on times that you've felt well, happy, and rested. Was this message completely true at the time? What was true?
4) Replace this message, as I did, with the actual truth. Say it out loud. Write it down.
Use the Inherent Knowings of the Soul from my E-Course, Who Are You? How Do You Know? for each type to guide you.
As we recover from this first round of holiday celebrations (comparisons and all), how can you FIND THE LIE, and speak life-giving truth to yourself today?
Don't know your Personality Type? Click here for a free quiz to help you discover your type.
For Black Friday, I'm offering you 30% off of my entire store, including my Go From Confusion to Clarity: The Inner Work Book, a workbook designed to help you compassionately know yourself and others better. Use the code BLACKFRIDAY at checkout!