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  • Danielle Fanfair

Compassion Fluency

How can we show compassion to every personality type?



I'm stuck on compassion. Why? Because it is a fully-integrated way of being in the world. We see suffering; we feel empathy, then we make an informed decision to do something about it. That's using our head, heart and gut intelligence to reduce someone else's suffering in the world. I can't think of a better use of energy, especially right now.


You like life hacks? Quick little ways to get something done? I don't too much believe that life can be hacked, and I like getting things done efficiently. I have Sherrie Silver African dance videos to learn and Modern Family reruns to watch after all.


What I think would be helpful as we navigate different personality types is to uniquely understand how they may be suffering. We are all carrying something. Some message, some old voice, some lie that we are believing.


We all have them. Our early childhood environments drove these messages home and they either scared us, shamed us or angered us into survival mode.


Check out the table below and find the message that sounds most familiar to you. Now look at the other types' messages. Imagine these words rattling around within us, like invisible land mines, waiting for some present experience to trip and then--BOOM!

What if we decided to acknowledge this internal struggle, dare I say--this suffering-- and become more versed in compassionate responses? What if we encourage someone who is a helper to value and meet their own needs? How about if we heard someone's anger and instead of trying to eliminate it, we reassured them that their anger is valid and he or she can trust us?


Here's the thing: Each personality type inherently knows who they are. There is a knowing that our external environment attempts to invalidate, yet the truth remains. The soul knows this message is the truth, and when the people, experiences and groups tell us otherwise, we must return to our inherent knowing as we process our daily experiences and as memories float back to us.

Take a look at these truths below:

Learning compassionate language can be tricky at first. I mean, how do we know what to say? We don't. And, here is a little insight on what truths each personality type knows, deep down in their heart of hearts and longs to hear. Give these words as a gift, in your own words and in your own way. Try it on yourself first. Then, if you are really brave, try it with someone you love, who may be having a hard time.


Next thing you know, you are as fluent as if you've been talking this way your whole life.


Tell me what happens!!!


Danielle Fanfair is a teacher, writer and speaker who helps high-impact professionals go from Confusion to Clarity about who they truly are, with a passion for well-being, diversity & inclusion, self-understanding and skills-building. Work with Danielle by clicking here.



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