This past Superpower Sunday, I taught from the Enneagram of Personality. We explored how those who are dominant in Types 8, 9 and 1 have an opportunity to engage in self-care through developing boundaries.
It may be helpful to think differently about boundaries than we ever have before. Instead of making a list of things we don't do and people to cut off, thinking more about what is the best investment of our time, energy and attention.
My friend and manifestation coach, Andrea Mosley, taught me the phrase, "engage differently." She says, "I have excellent boundaries. If the energetic exchange is not positive, I engage differently." What a beautiful way to consider how to move through experiences! Here are some things to consider as we think about our "engagements."
What are your priorities, contributions and superpowers?
Understanding our priorities, core values, desires, and the way we think is key to creating a personal culture that sets us up for success. Knowing what we want to contribute, what we want to see, and what would nurture and add value to those things is the beginning defining our boundaries.
What are your triggers?
Understanding what those are and then deciding how to engage when those triggers are present is key. It's impossible to avoid our triggers; we don't have to linger around them. When we know our superpowers, like Superman, we learn how to engage Kryptonite.
Then we must embrace our edges and limitations. How do we know when we hit capacity? What is the plan for self-care, rest and communication when this happens?
This is another way to gracefully create a personal culture that honors your value. We will not avoid events that trigger memories of our past trauma or create new trauma. We have the power to choose how we engage people, places, and things that trigger us as efficiently and essentially as possible.
See a snapshot of the Types 8, 9 and 1 and their opportunities below:
Priorities & Essence: When they are rooted, rested, loved and aligned, Type 8s are truth-seeking with an innocent exuberance. They protecting the weak and the vulnerable.
Triggers: injustice, lying, flakiness, preying on weak people
Eights would do well to understand the things that make them angry and assess how often and how long they should subject themselves to prolonged experiences with people, places and things that trigger them.
When they hit capacity, it's important to ask for help, schedule downtime, create room for joyful play and affection. Eights can move in strength and conserve their energy if they have a prepared forgiveness for people who work and communicate differently than they do.
Priorities & Essence: Nines embody wholeness and harmony and are the human expression of love and action. They want peace of mind, and work to create a calm "homeostasis" effect for those they love.
Triggers: pressure, being rushed, condescension, pretension, small conflicts, and loud, angry, confrontational behavior
Nines suppress their anger to keep the peace and it can lay dormant for a long while. When that volcano finally does erupt, it can scorch. Nines do well to understand their automatic zoning-out as an alarm clock, alerting them to something that makes them uncomfortable or causes them pain.
Noticing these things can set the Nine up for success in creating a personal culture that is truly peaceful. Nines can create this by clearly defining roles and positions, creating a habit of physical activity, and clearly communicating desires instead of just going with the flow. These peacemakers and peacekeepers can keep a positive flow of energy by having a prepared response for distractions that compete with your priorities.
Priorities & Essence: Ones strive to be good, have integrity and make a positive change. They embody a sense of serenity and divine perfection (embracing the good and the bad as apart of a larger, more perfect picture.)
Triggers: harsh criticism, not taking personal responsibility, double-standards, wrong-doing, disregarding their work, not honoring word or following-through, abrupt change
Ones do well to allow themselves the grace to schedule downtime, need to hear clearly that they’re doing a good job, their frustration to be validated, and help to remember their goodness.
Because Ones get frustrated easily (and that's ok), they set themselves up well to have a prepared grace for self and others and work on their flexibility and adaptability to change.